after came home from skating i bathed and ate and was feeling too lousy to stay home alone so i went back town to meet merv and mig and sal came as well.. we went cine and chilled.... oh and i missed out alot of funny parts of skating which merv included.... haha check out his blog.... its damn funny balls we luffed damn hard the whole day... its been long since i last luffed like this...
just checked my mail and saw tommy replied regarding sip .. adrenaline was rushing and when i open it guess what i fucking saw..
Hi Susan,
I have yet to receive your confirmation. I would appreciate if you could reply asap.
Thank you.
tommyq
fucking lousy day to kick start with... i think i screwed my CDS papers and in turn screwed my whole fucking CDS... really sucks... demoralised... and i thought skating would take it away... well i thought wrong... first thing that greeted us when we reached oasis was a big puddle of water caused by the long awaited rain... secondly was shit loads of dog poo and used disgusting tissue papers.. and these turned us off big time....
then we decided to go elsewhere to skate and we went onto ECP, and on the downslope.. I FUCKING DID A 619 that was so high speed that a person if stood in my way would fly away if knocked by me... i didnt brake properly and fell ... now both my arms have bruises but its not really painful but they sort of caught the colour of the handles and its like tatooing myself?? after that went cbd to skate and it was really stressful as mig said.. merv and mig like that place but i dun like ar... no groove and have to constantly look out for rangers or police but still skated abit ar ... i still like oasis most but not the poo part... come to think of it... most of the time there's new poo when the old ones are gone but today is really alot ar... sucks....
last major screwed up thing is my dad turned down my request for him to acknowledge my baptism this coming march and since he dun agree i guess i wont be able to get baptized this batch... and i`ll have to wait till next year's december... haiz... i dunno how ar... really lousy day for me... I WANNA SKATE SOMEMORE BUT AT OASIS!!!!!!!!!!
its scary how i feel when i get stressed up and hyped over something... i dunno how to explain it but its really scary... today was quite a sucky day... or should i say very ... presentation wasnt really good... and i did part of my 3d animation work and i remembered i saved it but the file was gone almost immediately... haiz... really tired... i need rest...
once i sit in front of my com... the lonliness and fucked up feeling kicks in... a feeling that i hate so much... i couldnt take it last night and broke off... i really wish people will talk to me... so i wont feel so fucked up....
hung out with sal and merv for a while and when we were going home i felt shitty again... sigh... really tired of all the sch shit and some of the people whom were once close to me are getting distant and i dun like that .... i fucking do wanna make that kind of effort.... haiz...
i feel useless... numb... very numb... i dunno wat to feel or react.... theres not many emotions that i go thru now.... but its getting weirder and weirder.... i wish i wasnt in this state.....
feel like crap now... drank too much just now... head is getting heavy... haiz needa sleep....
i got a new guitar... and i`m collecting tml... its what i really wanted ar... Epiphone Les Paul Goth series. and it is with Gibson explorer pick ups... well i think thats the only thing that makes me looking forward for tml ...
just submitted the title sequence yesterday and i`m please and happy with whatever that i did just that there were some minor problems because it was all rushed out in one night... frens who viewed it like malcolm they all said not bad... my slpless nights have not been wasted..... well have to fine tune it and burn 3 copies... 1 for charm the talent, 1 for harriet whose house was used for this shoot, 1 for julia cos the above 2 are both her frens and she was involved in helping me getting the talent and the location... thanx to all those who helped...
today did my second last tv production. can see yihan very stressed over it... but i think overall we did alright...
i`m still really tied down with projects. a film trailer, 2 more 3d animations, L&S presentation, portfolio presentation, DSA promo video and 1 more tv production to go.... haiz i need time to sort things out... i lost grip of myself ... i dunno what i should do next... other than projects and projects... sigh.
i feel deserted... numb about so many things... i feel sad but wtf do ppl know what its like in my shoes... not many of em cares at all... life's been evolving around all the work that i have... its never ending and the deadlines are all this fucking week... i feel that some group works are not even group works for me... i do most of the shit and the rest come up with excuses to fuck me around... those that claimed to be concern didnt do shit when i needed a listening ear... i`m tired of having to meet targets .. i`m tired of having to quarrel with YOU... dunno how long more i can hold on to this... really tired of everything...
i feel like fuck now.... ppl are being FUCKTARDS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!
the first day of chinese new year... went to my mum's side, my uncle's house for about 2 hours... then went over to my sis bf's place... gambled and lost a lot... heart acheeeee... think i still have to depend on mahjong... i suck at card games.... stayed there till 11pm then went to a bar at holland village with sis, her bf, his younger sis and some of their friends for a drink... drank relatively much today... 3 or 4 beer and frozen magarita...still going!!
things seem so screwed up, so messy and so abrupt... she wanted to give me up but came back and asked for more, when she couldnt take it she gave me up again but again she came back. i told her i needed more time to pull through this period of time, she said she`ll wait but time and time again she forced me for answers and say things i didnt mean. its getting so difficult to talk to her.. i cant give her any promises and i`m tired of being seem as not putting in effort or attention.... i cant stay at home and stop thinking about this matter which is why i tried to stay out longer with merv and nigel... after yesterday, the things she forced me to say just so she could get over me left me really disappointed ... but even so after i said u called and ask to try again... i`m really in pain now... if possible... i dun want you to love me anymore...
lifes really busy now and its crap.... we're constantly quarelling and it seems pretty bad
