Maybe Memories

memories mayb...

2007-05-12T10:58:00.000+08:00

as of this post onwards.. maybmemories will be memories.. i`ve shifted..(officially)
http://unhd.livejournal.com

thankyou blogger good night and good bye...

its spiderMAN! from nippon...

2007-05-05T13:01:00.001+08:00

2007-05-04T20:49:00.001+08:00

"My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer."

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself."

its said that all happy people have God within them...

2007-05-01T19:15:00.001+08:00

"But my heart is agitated," the boy said. "It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it`s become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I`m thinking about her."

"Well that`s good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say."

2007-04-29T03:34:00.000+08:00

when i came round to call, you didn't notice me at all...

a far cry from here 1/7 ...

2007-04-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

A mirror for a lesser human being A broken branch to lean your weight upon A muddy path like here Unclear Take the fall of man within Draw the longest hour in Saw birds Squirrels in the trees Flotsam Jetsam about the sea A timely order for a decent pill Ungodly hour for tidings to begin A labyrinth of fear Come here The music calls for undertones The music speaks to those alone Saw words hide between lines Made sense to the open minds A goodbye gone Too mannish to believe Sailor songs To wear them on the sleeve Breathe Breathe All the flaws of man are in Draw upon the well within Come clean.

whats your number?

2007-04-28T06:57:00.001+08:00

we`ll talk and you`ll break my heart...

oh sit down next to me in sympathy...

2007-04-22T20:01:00.000+08:00

Those who feel the breath of sadness
Sit down next to me
Those who find they’re touched by madness
Sit down next to me
Those who find themselves ridiculous
Sit down next to me
In love, in fear, in hate, in tears
In love, in fear, in hate, in tears

good and bad day...

2007-04-22T03:29:00.000+08:00

the bad- i busted the rear hoodsticks of my truck. it was stupid but i don't know why i was so distracted (i have been recently). and it sucks..

ppl's been asking me whats happening to me...

the good- went airport with my primary sch frens to give hui hui a surprise cos its her bday and she was coming back from australia and we went to rochester which is a very nice place.. paulaners lager is good..
i`m going to do a new setup for the truck since now the hoodsticks are like shit.. and the landrover guys were damn nice and helpful.. coffee session with em at mas ayu ...

p.s: hope you have fun.. take care..

i`m back...

2007-04-15T03:58:00.001+08:00

"if the smile's not meant to be,
if the heart's not ready to open
if we make it i won't see how it's broken

it's the quiet time before the dawn and i'm half past making sense of it,
was i wrong?

should i claim to give it all in a world where not much ever seems to last long

if the smile's not meant to be,
if the heart's not ready to open
if we make it i won't see it's broken
if the smile's not meant to be,
if the heart's not ready to open
if we make it i won't "

i wish i read minds..

i`m back...

2007-04-15T03:58:00.000+08:00

Auf Wiedersehen...

2007-03-23T15:10:00.000+08:00

What if… I never get a chance to tell her…

What if … I never get a chance to tell her.. she’ll probably never know … will I be remembered?

Take care people… bye bye beautiful..

p.s ...

2007-03-18T04:56:00.000+08:00

"Lord, please remind me that nothing is
going to happen that you and i cannot handle."

Hope there's someone
Who'll take care of me
When I die, will I go

Hope there's someone
Who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired

There's a ghost on the horizon
When I go to bed
How can I fall asleep at night
How will I rest my head

Oh I'm scared of the middle place
Between light and nowhere
I don't want to be the one
Left in there, left in there

There's a man on the horizon
Wish that I'd go to bed
If I fall to his feet tonight
Will allow rest my head

So here's hoping I will not drown
Or paralyze in light
And godsend I don't want to go
To the seal's watershed

Hope there's someone
Who'll take care of me
When I die, Will I go

Hope there's someone
Who'll set my heart free
Nice to hold when I'm tired

will you?

2007-03-05T13:49:00.000+08:00

i just stoned...
in the cab..
when i got the msg...

it felt so scripted...
so stupid...
but that was it...
that was all i could do...
i just stoned...

how i wish when the day breaks everything can really be new again... god i need your grace... pls..

winning the battle losing the war...

2007-03-03T16:21:00.001+08:00

hur... wats are the signs? i`m lost and quite disturbed...

Even though I'll never need her,
even though she's only giving me
pain,
I'll be on my knees to feed her,
spend a day to make her smile
again
Even though I'll never need her,
even though she's only giving me
pain
As the world is soft around her,
leaving me with nothing to
disdain.

Even though I'm not her minder,
even though she doesn't want
me around,
I am on my feet to find her,
to make sure that she is safe and
sound.
Even though I'm not her minder,
even though she doesn't want me
around,
I am on my feet to find her,
to make sure that she is safe from
harm.

The sun sets on the war,
the day breaks and everything is
new...

we are the victims of one sided love...

2007-02-18T11:46:00.000+08:00

i`m so excitedd, i just cant hiiiddddddeeeeeee it~~

Tonight's the night,
Tonight we're gonna.
Tonight's the night,
Tonight we're gonna.
Tonight's the night,
Tonight we're gonna.
Tonight's the night,
Tonight we're gonna.
Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
(Tonight we're gonna.)
Tonight we'll put all other things aside
(Tonight we're gonna gonna gonna.)
Give in this time and show me some affection
(Give in and show us some.)
We're going for those pleasures in the night
(Tonight, tonight.)
I want to love you, feel you,
Wrap myself around you.
I want to squeeze you, please you,
I just can't get enough.
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go

I'm so excited, I just can't hide it,
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.
I'm so excited, I just can't hide it,
I know, I know, I know, I want to.
(I know, I know, I know, I want to.
I know, I know, I know, I want to.
I know, I know, I know, I want to.)

We shouldn't even think about tomorrow
(I know, I know, I know.)
Sweet memories will last a long long time
(I know, I know, I know.)
We'll have a good time baby don't you worry
(I know, I know.)
And if we're still hangin' around well that's just fine.
Let's get excited,
(Look what you do to me,)
That we just can't hide it.
(You've got me burnin' up.)
I'm about to lose control and I think I like it.
I'm so excited,
(How did you get to me?)
I just can't hide it
(How bout you give it up?)
I know, I know, I know, I want you, I want you.
I want to love you, feel you,
Wrap myself around you.
I want to squeeze you, please you,
I just can't get enough.
And if you move real slow, I'll let it go

a very fateful 16/02/07...

2007-02-17T12:14:00.000+08:00

hur i`m having so many mixed feelings.. its bad.. its real bad.... its like now i feel damn weird, dun even know how to put it to words. well all i can say was yesterday was quite a good day but i guess that was it? hurr..

hurr..

2007-01-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

i want freedom! hurr...

i have..

2007-01-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

i have 2 doors in my room now... the old ones taken off from my truck... leaning against the wall... i stared at them for a long time... wishing that they will bring me to the place i wanna be when i open them.. hurr...

and they say...

2007-01-21T03:03:00.000+08:00

assumption is the mother of all fuck up...

hurr.. after the gathering with the prim. sch frens at PS Cafe, really felt like they are of a diff league.. dunno why after every gathering that difference seem bigger and bigger.. oh well but i`m still glad i have these few good frens and that we could stick together still after this long..

the truck got its new doors and new light guards.. burning holes in the pockets... hurr

physics and engineering stuff aint fun at all.. hurr..

i can so see and imagining it happen but it isnt happening...
why why why how how how.. how and why... hurr... how... haiii

its time...

2007-01-14T04:03:00.000+08:00

all of a sudden, i decided, i am going to work on another short... it may be my last... its been on my mind this short film thing and i think i really want to do it. hmmm yea.. so this means its pre pro time!! giving it 6 months for pre pro and get grant from SFC(this time i will) after which i`d be commissioned from OCS and probably have more time for productions!!! hurr i`m itching..

into the woods later on... goodnight..

i will love my rifle deep deep, and will lock my cupboard forever... X20

2007-01-12T10:09:00.000+08:00

the feeling of getting back from brunei is damn good. you have to go thru it before you understand what kind of feeling i`m talking about but yea and i will love my rifle deep deep and will lock my cupboard forever..

the truck is undergoing some changes now and then and i`m quite thrilled =) but i almost murdered it after bringing it for that deep swim and i`m collecting it from the garage later...

last but not least, DENISE TAN SUDDENLY found my wallet after me replacing all the cards and replacing my license.. nnb. told you its confirm at your place!

2007

2007-01-01T19:22:00.000+08:00

it started good... very good :D... stelliyah knows it all...HOHOHO!!! and i saw a really nice full rainbow..! lets hope it`ll be a good year! hur hur ! off to brunei in a few hours.. till then!

oh mandy...

2006-12-25T16:51:00.000+08:00

Oh Mandy, Oh Mandy
Oh Mandy, Oh Mandy
So Dreamy, Oh Mandy
So Killing, Oh Mandy
Oh Mandy, Oh Mandy
Can read me, and has me
Oh Mandy, Oh Mandy's
Completely out of reach

this is my hideout..

wallet wallet where art thou...

2006-12-23T12:53:00.000+08:00

my wallet is officially lost (maybe stollen) ... denise cant find it at her place after i used her dvd burner, i cant find it anywhere... my only guess is.. there is a ROBBER!!!... WTF ARE YOU DOING CPRL GERV!! our nation is suppose to be strong and free...

so i have to cancel all my card and go make a police report on my driving license.. good thing i didnt leave my 11b inside and i was using my cheapo adidas wallet .. but i loved that wallet... oh well... i think its not totally a bad thing... cos i wont be able to just spend anyhow until my cards come...

brunei brunei have some merci... pls stop raining cos we`re coming...

ocs social night dinner...

2006-12-16T14:50:00.000+08:00

so it was quite a dramatic when before it all happened... but alls good.. besides the food everything else was good.. glad i didnt find someone i`d be speechless with as my date.. the company was good and its just a matter of days when we`ll all split and go to our individual vocations ...

suddenly the world just seem like it stopped spinning.. everything's like still and nothing special..

i wanna be so much more... i want so much more than this...

god bless us from the commando mosquitoes..

2006-12-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

off into the jungles... good bye civilisation... see you in 6 days' time... this weekend has been good... lots of catching up and meeting up with friends...

i am a safe driver...

2006-12-03T04:08:00.000+08:00

the view from the 64th storey of swissotel's balcony can be so saddening and emo even if you just intended to get some fresh air...

this weekend caught up with many of those that i haven't seen for some time and its all good.

and again i had long nights and i am pretty shagged out... so this is it for tonight... goodnight..

ps:happy birthday rachel..

gotta taste some GOLLDDDDD!!

2006-11-04T13:50:00.000+08:00

gotta gotta taste some cold hard CHOCOLATY GOLD next fri and i`ll be able to book out that night!!!

i had that dream again
i`m exploring my (own) home : i happen across a door : that leads me to a room i`ve never seen...

water for elephants..

2006-10-29T13:18:00.001+08:00

hmmm chanced upon this book in kino and it reminded me of CARNIVALE the series on HBO.. mystical and fantasy makes a good story for me...

hmmm not sure if i can book out the next few weeks cos i created some trouble in camp... oh well hur.. i think i wanna take the fm2 out and go roam around and shoot soon.. hmmm so many things happened the past few days.. its quite stunning... i really felt that god kept me alive (from that incident), yea i could've died.. but somehow he didn't let me... can't elaborate here but yea thats pretty much about it..

been thinking alot because of all these happenings including my fellow cadet's mum who just passed away after hari raya (malay). i kept thinking how much he would've rather be in my shoes than be in the state where he is now (who wouldn't?) .. so afterall i`m not going thru the worse... thats my consolation for myself..

we shall drink and smoke till we explode...

2006-10-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

noone will remember someone who is noone...
noone remembers you for the little things you do..
the consolation is there are always a handful who's true..
whom you`ll probably see at the end of the road when your time comes...
but all's a chase of wind..
but its ok, at least you knew how to feel...
though the feeling might not be that pleasant but still..
you beat those who wants a slightest drop of happiness to drip and flow into their lives..
you beat them hands down..
you ask and seek for good things in life, car, job, companion...
but when your death bed draws near, they will start to shatter...
they will definitely shatter...
blown away by a breeze and just a breeze...

the depa-raya long weekend..

2006-10-24T08:47:00.000+08:00

i wouldn't say its a fun filled one but much has happened... nothing like enchanted fairytales that sort of shit.. but neither was it that bad... i always believe in telling or listening bout the bad ones first so bad one it shall be:

canon dv fest called last min and said my tape was faulty which doesnt play sound and i had to rush out one before wed.. was pretty choked out on that one because it was really last min... lots of assignments given during this supposing long weekend which make it seems no difference.. and most of us dunno what the shit freak the assignment wants out of us.. some ppl pissssed the balls off me (almost).. its times like this you see who's true and whose plastic..

and now the good:

i got to spend quite some time with mum bringing her around buying things.. and i got to sort out some pretty sticky situation i got myself in for 3 months or so.. finally its over and its good because its been a phase whereby my anti-conscience took over me for that long time.. there was no zouk no home club this bookout which is good? i dunno but i drank abit at KC's bbq and it was good.. I wont say i totally got off the cigarettes but i cut down alot and i mean ALOT (maybe because i didnt club)... caught up with some frens i haven seen for quite some time and its all good.. i think...

this is quite a long one for me.. so i shall end it now..

fun fair ride...

2006-10-21T12:57:00.000+08:00

haha i was browsing and i saw this.. its damn freaking cute.. like fun fair rides...

toycar

full advert for this car is at: http://www.sgcarmart.com/main/info-nH2VDER-1007.html

i`ll get it if its still available when i have that kind of money... its damn hippy la... austin mini.. hahahahahhaha

the first GUCCI..

2006-10-21T11:30:00.000+08:00

i bought the first Gucci in my 20 years of life... (sad huh) haha but its for my mum... brought her to the optician cos i was making new specs and she complained of how the sun hurt her eyes.. and she chose one.. gucci (then again i think all those the opticians let her choose were gucci ones).. i didnt dare to tell her how much it cost until i paid for it otherwise she sure dun want.. hmm so suddenly i feel broke.. haha

buddhistson...

2006-10-21T10:14:00.000+08:00

chanced upon some old cds and found them... nice...

field camp was as expected.. a shagg us out experience..
got to book out last night(fri) but had nowhere to go.. cos by the time i got home it was 12ish.. and that sux... i just slept it away...

its a long weekend... but we have so many assignments i`d rather not have this long weekend... mission plannings and shit... oh well...

worm...

2006-10-15T11:58:00.000+08:00

Leslie Low, frontman of The Observatory finally came up with his own album, worm... went to check out his live performance yesterday at the art house and was surprised they still remember me... his new album is reflective and really chilly and emoish... the room was fully packed and it was really nice... saw familiar faces there and caught up with em... got the album right before the performance started and it wasn't disappointing at all... far from it...

nice..

1 month in ocs...

2006-10-14T16:27:00.000+08:00

its been a month... pretty fast i would say.. but the shit is just beggining.. monday i`m going back to tekong... for section fieldcamp... then there's platoon field camp,all that kind of stuff.. hur... and in 2 months time i`ll get my vocation which i dun really know which i really want...

things are pretty fucked up.. dunno why either.. its ok...

regimental lifestyle really isnt the way for me...

i guess at the very end.. i`ll have to pick that coin up and slot it in by myself...
at the very end.. i`ll have to read off the numbers and dial them myself...

yesterday... yesterday..

2006-09-16T07:40:00.000+08:00

yesterday,
love was such an easy game to play.
now i find a place to hide away...
oh i believe,

in yesterday...

* i just realised how beautiful this song is...

offroading alone makes me calm...

2006-09-15T02:37:00.000+08:00

the sky was moody that day... it wasnt the usual sunset... it was something mysterious and gloomy...

i like this..

the tree behind was damn surreal, you have to be there to see for yourself..

if only i can sims2 on this piece of land...

say goodbye now..

ppl, i`m moving from this place.. but i`ll update this still with happy things... i`ll hide the sad ones away... tag me still i`ll come back often...

biting dust...

2006-09-13T01:28:00.000+08:00

when i cant see so clearly anymore and when i cant think that fast anymore, will there be somone to slot the coin into the phone for me?

the marks from the previous pages...

2006-09-11T01:48:00.000+08:00

i always thought it was tough like a rope where ppl can hang on to it and it wont break.. but it turned out to be just a thread that can be broken with a slight thug..and the knot that i thought could be tight was just one of those magical knots magicians used that wasn't really a knot at all.. it just looked like it..

wat i thought was a tight knot on a tough rope was a wonderland story that may never happen to me..

this will be my last post... to put it behind, i need to and have to..

life's like this..

2006-09-10T04:28:00.000+08:00

its not wrong..but its not right...
i wish i had moved on, so maybe it wouldnt hit me.. at least not this hard.. at least not this way...

why?

2006-09-10T03:18:00.000+08:00

he just died.. maybe he never existed..

small club with a lot of lofff....

2006-09-09T14:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm funny, i think someone sent my shortfilm "Rosie" into crowbar for me cos my ex colleagues Shawn and Ler said they did the accessing for one of the judges and they saw my work inside... but i swore to them i didnt send in and they swore to me they saw it cos they selected it .. wtf? hur? who could`ve sent in for me and paid for me?

block leave has been quite eventful till now... seriously i still think home club is like the best... wooohoooooooo...

POP LOHHHH

2006-09-03T04:11:00.000+08:00

hoho wed is my pop... 24 km made us all walk like ducks cos of the abrasions we had from it all over the thighs and abit higher (ahem) soc is just crazy.. bastards who created it are really bastards.. POP LOHHHHHH!!!

comex is like quite crappy this year...

this is our final lap!

2006-08-26T10:58:00.000+08:00

1 more week to POP... out of tekong... hoho
left with 2 major events.. SOC and 24 km route march.. oh and the drill competition that i`m involved with (sux)
after that BLOCK LEAVE... i wanna go overseas... ANYONE? (STEPH? YH?) BANGKOK? HK?

sunny day for storm...

2006-08-20T09:52:00.000+08:00

what have i done? maybe it all happened too quick but so much so that i didnt even catch a glimpse of anything that was going wrong and soon before i realise everything was over, everyone was gone.. now its too late... certain things and a handful ppl holds on to me like tenderloins of a broken limb keeping me sane..

fuck you..

2006-08-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

how can one be so fucking selfish, giving in to your personal fucking pleasure and leaving others in pain.FUCK YOU! act like you fucking care and showing you take your responsibilities and playing the role that your entitled to but fuck you dun even really give a damn do you? where were you guys when mum was ill, where were you when we all needed you? FUCK YOU! go away pls cos your presence makes me sick, your presence reminds me of what kind of person i`m made from... your weekly talks with me are nothing but fixtures to play your part as being my influencial figure? FUCK YOU! i am fucking sick of all the ugliness in human form.. how god created us but we turn out so ugly ! EVERY FUCKING SINGLE ONE ! the fucking phone call really made me felt so 2nd class compared to a slutwhore bitch.. FUCK YOU! i dun think i`ll ever really forgive anyone like you.. and never will i forget (not even the details since primary sch days).

like the traitors of the soviet union...

2006-08-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

banished and gone forever with no historical records or whatsoever.. its funny how things just keep crashing on you and it just never seem to end.. and no matter how bad the situation is a worse one would befall on you.. and no matter how much you console yourself that when all these potholes are crossed and the sweetness comes it will be ever so sweet but deep down you know that its bullshit because as it is you are feeling like crap and no amount of self consolation is going to even put you into the state of denial because you know the cold hard solid fact your fucked..

when you thought you will start afresh, circumstances and situation put you back into the spot where you just stepped out from.. yea god is one funny guy, with plans for you that you seem to resent and detest but whats the point.. we still go thru it.. it just seem like the sufferings we go thru is an absolute must in exchange for another's happiness whoever it is in this world.. it just seem that at one point there can only have one person whose happy and that person just never seem to be me..

i feel sick of myself.. and i`m slowly giving up, accepting the fact that this is how it is... and this is how it must be because i must have tried almost everything i could do or spoke to ppl i confide in but nothing helps.. and funny even i myself isn't sure of whats wrong.. i feel tired.. of even feeling... because all i feel is sadness and extreme sadness...

like spring arrives...

2006-08-09T02:17:00.000+08:00

ironically, i`m reminded of you.. in the slightest way that i didnt thought would be possible. and you haunted me yet again in every aspect regardless what the conversation was served over the best food and beer.. and i sunk in deeper..

you did it subtly, gradually but suddenly, that was it.. and at that point where you struck the hardest there was nothing left in a trace.. i sulked and i picked myself up thinking it was over but i thought wrong.. now i dunno where i am...

perhaps it was the reminiscence, perhaps it was the beer, tonight i took a turn from the route that leads home..but it was nothing more than a drive by... there was nothing more i could do was i? maybe these are all a series of drama you go through when your on cloud 9 but whose to say what's right and wrong when you feel like nothing but an empty mollusk.. sad but true, i`m possessed by you...

_____________________________________________________________

3and half more weeks to get out of tekong...

why...

2006-07-30T17:05:00.000+08:00

why does everything seem to be in a mess and i myself being so lost in everything around me... walking on the street feeling all alone... it scares ... i dun find myself being interested in anything at the moment, its like i`ve lost grip of myself where every second ticks with no purpose or aim.. why do i succumb to the devil every time and proof his triumph over my will... i cant feel or maybe i dunno what to feel ... i hope i`ll find jon back... i have to...

PS: thanks yihan, rachel, manda, quek, merv (n other half) for the muffin with fries... i may not show it but i truly appreciate it.. thanks guys...

a birthday in tekong camp is gonna suck really painful and bad... i love yu mum..

wild boars took my bag away...

2006-07-29T18:41:00.000+08:00

w000hoo field camp is over... and yes there were wild boars everynight visiting us (how nice of them!) and while we were training there were colourful snakes (how nice!) right beside us when we were lying flat during practice firing movement... field camp is fun other than the fact that we cant bath (other than using powder) oh but we were given a short bath from tap on the 4th day which was really the best bath ever!!! REALLY!! i`m feeling listless.. sad and emoooooooo ... dunhill menthol frost is.. nice..

the story of golliwog...

2006-07-09T22:27:00.000+08:00

world's fastest indian is good and superman returns is just ballocks..
everything's too cold..

robocop sensation...

2006-07-02T15:20:00.000+08:00

offroading was damn fun yesterday, in prompt to decision but it was good... poptart and soccer match at phuture was good... meet up with old friends was good... food at grandma's was good... but the cough is baddd... happy birthday to gerv the moh... and jean...

my 2nd bookout...

2006-07-01T09:47:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel booking out is jin troublesome... lines of buses wait for us at the bus interchange to send us in but when sending us out is like 1 or 2 bus on service.. WTF!

my platoon got really funny ppl... i shan't elaborate but just by talking about them in the bunks we can kill a few good days...

haven been catching up with any frens... sian.... com`on ppl....!!!

tekong..

2006-06-10T02:14:00.000+08:00

just finished packing... gonna go serve national service in 6 more hours time... take care ppl... call me if yu guys are free.. haha..

now i know yur true colours...

2006-06-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

burnn....burrrrrnnnnnnnn.... the fakes.....

cookout..

2006-06-05T01:40:00.000+08:00

beach in front woods behind... bbqing in between is shiok... it was really dark with the only light coming from the pit so you could clearly see the stars and i think i saw a shooting star from the corner of my eye.. but no wishes... wishes dun work.. but it was a great night chillin on the field, eating and drinking... drove home at 5plus and thats pretty much the last before i go in..

this is why joshua is our good fren...

2006-05-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

below is a random conversation with joshua lee chang kai... explicit contents, ARE YOU 18? if not go to hunter's blog for softer porn...

me: so did yu do yur backflips with nancy in bed using capoeira style...?

josh: yes! and she used tai chi on me!

me: HAHAHA! yu know i`m going to fucking blog this...

josh: her chi was fabulous. made me cum 12 times in an instance.
and that broke my own record when i was trying to jerk off over monica lewinsky
which was -1 cumshot.

me: wa!

josh: my "reverse explosion"

me: i`m going to blog this..

josh: AYE! F u la!

landrover 2

2006-05-31T02:47:00.000+08:00

oh and there is possibilty of my dad getting a landrover defender... IT WILL BE JEEP X2... cos i spotted a 2 weeks old defender for sale... mileage is only 120 km...(i drive more than 120 a day on average) ... the caucasian had to migrate back after he bought the car .. (erm?) well the dad is still considering.. ha...

jb drive in the landie...

2006-05-31T02:39:00.000+08:00

so KC and I drove in to JB, its... shiok... we went in there and straight away went for drinks and chatted about his backpacking experience to france and spain, and we made a pact to go italy to backpack in 2 years time after i`m out of NS... so after bottles and bottles we went off to get rumly burgers nearby and drove to the coast and went into part of the water... and we climbed onto the landrover and ate the dopest rumly i`ve eaten so far, the authentic one.. (the rest were spore pasamalams)... ha eating rumly with the sea water beneath ur feet with beer, cigarettes kicking in is just too shiok... i felt like i was really living ... ha... then we went to the petrol kiosk to get cheap ass diesel, its FUXXIng cheap ... and then we headed back... alright man...

funny how it is..

2006-05-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

Does anyone ever felt like your in a position where you don't know what you want anymore and cannot decide what to choose next even when options lie crystal clear upon your face but you're just too afraid to choose at all...you're afraid that whichever that you might possibly choose would be the one that you shouldn't have and it's all too late to take the alternative... Or put it this way, you're afraid of facing the past again because the past have proven you once that it's possible of a tragic end and choosing it again might just repeat it once again yet you don't want to miss out on any possibility that it might bring a total different ending this time round.

It sucks...

I just wanna run...

i am a botak head...

2006-05-27T09:54:00.000+08:00

yes i am... i was driving and suddenly turned to my dad, "I wanna go shave my head now!"

Dad: "HUH? eh wah you ok not?"

And so i drove to the baber and when i pushed the door and said "I wanna shave botak"

Barber: "HUH? WHY!" (looking at my messy long hair)

Me: "Going NS soon... bored...!"

Barber: "OK!"

do you have a letter for me...

2006-05-26T01:54:00.000+08:00

running on an endless road with nothing and noone but you.. i forgot what we were running from.. but we never seem to get tired at all.. i cant remember where it was... all i could recall was that you were beside... without turning to look i could tell it was you... without turning to look i was contented with that very set...

mr postman... do you have a letter for me?

2006-05-24T01:33:00.000+08:00

you walk on a plain grassfield.. you see a familiar backview standing quite some distance away... thinking its somebody you know but you just cannot register at that instance who this person is you step forward towards that stranger friend.. when you're getting nearer and nearer, you tripped on a stone and fell.. the end..

bus 174

2006-05-23T19:06:00.000+08:00

finally started picking up my dvd pile and picked bus 174 to watch first... its pretty neat but slow ... nice overall...

wonder...

2006-05-21T03:39:00.000+08:00

quek's so happy... wonder if i`ll ever feel that way.... :( oh well consolation is offroading... goodnight and goodbye...

i will gass you soooo bad!!!

2006-05-20T04:04:00.000+08:00

yes you watch out... you know who you are!! YES YOU!!! i will gass you soo baddd i swear you`ll never live to see day light EVERRR again!! you watch out!! I gangster i tell you!!

i`m broke..

2006-05-18T02:29:00.000+08:00

now that the sound system is fully (almost) done up... and i carpeted the front cabin... alls good... but i`m broke.. sucks... haiz...

i wish i can not care or be bothered... so everything will be easier for everyone.. i wish i didnt have to feel... so noone will hurt... haiz... too bad.. its all just a wish...

sad is the man who has lost his way...

2006-05-16T02:14:00.000+08:00

so my eye sight remains 300 degree per side oh yay but they cant add lens to my aviats.. sian... i is missing the pork ball noodles soup and the chy... haizzzzz.... not right man... new pics coming soon...

bangkok trip..

2006-05-14T03:06:00.000+08:00

i`m back ... was happy to see my mum when i reached home.. but it also made me think of some 10 or 11 years back when i saw her weep in the living room alone in the dark... it reminded me of how her sill looked like from the lights from the window... its a sight i will never forget... i forgot how it all began... i`ve never known how it began in the first place... and some 6 years back when something dad said while driving me to the sch made me hide myself in the sch toilet and cried for fucking hours... i yelled at her and screamed at her.. rebelled and did all i shouldnt have done.. she forgave and probably forgot.. i never will... while driving home from the airport just now... dad talked to me about mum missing me while i was away... was happy to see my mum when i reached home..

from bangkok...

2006-05-12T04:33:00.000+08:00

its been good food and better food... outskirt dinner was fabulous and beer here is cheap..we bought one box and stocked up in the hotel.. bed supper club is better than any other clubs, crowd's good, ambience's good...

julius and quidam crashed in... for one night which i was quite gone... i`m coming back soon on sat...

just like its name...

2006-05-03T23:40:00.000+08:00

http://www.gibson.com/Products/GibsonElectric/Gibson%20Electric%20Guitars/LesPaul/Les%20Paul%20Goddess/

this is one hellova sexy guitar... somehow when i see this guitar i imagine amanda ling playing it but wth she's a keyboardist!?!? (maybe cos i just saw her this afternoon)... its been killers and strokes filling my journeys lately.. somehow they makes them less stale... but you only live once sounds like a hokkien song... right fq?

leaving for bangkok on sat... heiniken is like 2 bucks over there... dirt cheap... but tastes exactly the same since 1978... huh?

fucked up night...

2006-04-28T00:42:00.000+08:00

go away... pls

hell at west coast park..

2006-04-24T07:39:00.000+08:00

it was hell.. i refuse to go drink with ppl who has problems controlling themselves when they drink... refusing to stop yet they cant go home in that state they were in... so another guy and me ended up having to watch the drunkard till crazy hours which could probably put us in danger of being manslaughtered by the time we get home... dammit... its your fault jim beam... haiz.. wat a tormenting night...

wat a life...

2006-04-22T05:12:00.000+08:00

got the first part of my stereo for my car done up... 2nd part is waiting for the other 2 speakers(bass) speakers to come... then went to KC's house to take a look at him fixing his jeep.. Oteq was there with his as well.. so helped out here and there and went to meet my primary sch frens for dinner for 2 of their birthdays... had a good chat and catch up yet again... then a phone call made my not so bad day a fucking tragic... he fucking has to do it every single time... WHAT ABOUT URSELF BITCH! FUCKED UP! you`ve deprived me of many things... thanks alot... thanks alot ... i owe u man... seriously... FUCK TYPE...

so the rest of my night was a disaster... i talked far away from them and returned forcing myself to be alright.. then i called KC and CLif to check if we are still meeeeting and they were at ICE COLD BEER.. so i went to get my car and coming out from the undergound carpark.. it stormed... how fufilling.. completing the whole fucked up night... so i went to meet the guys and had some beer... the first thing Clif asked me was "WHY YOU LOOK SO SAD" ... i guess i was really sulking already... a few beers with them while we talked about everything... sucks man... its the first time beer tasted bad... first time... thanks again...

absinthe... absinthe..

2006-04-19T02:19:00.000+08:00

if i have absinthe it would be so much easier... 3 shots of it per week maximum... i say 4 in a row sounds better... then i be sent straight to jesus.. wait... maybe not since i`ve never been a good person...

goodnight...

easter celebration..

2006-04-16T13:55:00.000+08:00

congrats for merv who's been baptized on easter vigil...

stunning as it may seem, the fool is the lucky one...

2006-04-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

i`m confused and indecisive.. i dunno what to do or wat to decide... maybe until the submarine floats in the orange sky and the birds swim in milky white sea, maybe till the trees wither and turn purple and the buildings and machines burn and topple...

its a random random night... emo i am cos my milo was drank...

time understands when it wants to...

2006-04-08T11:09:00.000+08:00

and time has come for me to prepare for NS.. just recieved my enlistment letter... just right after my interview with Shooting Gallery and when all things seem nice and good... and while i was happily playing with my jeep's 4X4 my dad called me and announced the letter to me and man.. it suck... so many plans that i`ve had before ... work work work and mod my jeep...work work work and mod my jeep... now its just 2 months away... oh man...10th of june... its time fore reunion..

burn... just burn...

2006-04-05T12:10:00.000+08:00

fighting everyday makes me sick but it never seem to stop.. really tired of everything when so many events happened the past month yet he fucking picks on everything... really tired... and temper gettin shorter...

nobody does it better...

2006-04-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

i dreaded this feeling... took some time to get over it... and i did... then that dreaded feeling seem like a long awaited friend... visiting me again... now its back on me ... happening again... this time round... wonder how long its gonna stay?? i feel like an empty husk... i feel indecisive now... somehow...

wat a bad timing that my contract ended... with axn.. now i`m waiting for 2 other projects which are on hand... wheres the work when i needed them the most... to consume me... to be my time consumer... when being alone doesnt make me feel that alone at all... it doesnt seem like the world is being friendly anymore... sent out emails and msgs remains unreplied.. everything in the house appears how it should happen... funny i`m typing all these and the tears wont sieze flow...

the truth is what we are left with...

2006-03-30T21:47:00.000+08:00

this is what you get from excessive csi... still in the office now at 945 and gonna stay till the wee hours just to finish cutting promo... arr...

time of rebirth...

2006-03-29T02:46:00.000+08:00

*A Good Thing - The Observatory

what excites me
what defies my common sense
what makes up for what is lacking in the end

finally found an answer deep in you
and then you lose it
and it's true
when it's just too much of a good thing

no one likes me when i act like this
what possessed me to behave like this

i'm afraid to lose my mind

and then i lose it
and it's true
when it's just too much of a good thing

i need the acid pills...

2006-03-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

maid is here, so not used to having a stranger back home. its really uncomfortable but we have no choice. oh well...

feeling quite stranded lately.. problematic but unable to put it into words.. so i can't even write it out and burn it away.. noone i can exactly tell it to.. i think i`ll stick to writing and burning it away.

everything's in a mess waiting to be sorted out... my room... my schedule and my sanity... somedays are hard to get by, somedays are hard to get by... acid pills, twice a day...

the observatory...

2006-03-20T00:31:00.000+08:00

they are even better live...

help me...

2006-03-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

for once in my life i really feel so helpless.. at the same time, useless..

the first overland 50th anniversary...

2006-03-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

so its on this sat and all land rovers in spore will meet up with malaysia land rovers and probably UK ones over here in spore commemorating the 2 land rovers that came from UK all the way to spore 50 years ago!! its gonna be on the news and all ! really looking forward to it. all the landrovers will convoy from the ford factory pass orchard road towards regent street.. i think its going to be quite fun... will snap the roverss and post em up...

another thing that made me real happy is... I GOT MY HOLGA COLOURSPLASH!!!!! thanks to a mysterious woman.. you know who you are... but i was quite angry cos my parents opened my package before i got home.. wth always opening my mails and packages...

work's getting really hectic. just got the schedule for the april feeds... doom.......

all liess...

2006-02-27T01:15:00.000+08:00

you asked me to help your friends. but you yourself always have some reasons not be on set. being tired and all after work i still go on to help her because you left her all alone with noone to help her. and whats with the saying of "if you cannot make it let me know. i`ll take over or find alternatives." whats with word eaters nowadays.. how funny..

how could u ...

2006-02-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

haiz... i`m being put up and blurred out on the possibility of me getting baptised soon. i took the piece of paper and sat myself down in the living room where my dad was watching the tv. i called out to him and spoke to him about the upcoming baptism on easter sunday. he looked at me and shook his head. that look on his face. the exact look a year back when i asked of the same request again. request for the permission of me recieving baptism. the sacrement of reconciliation. the best gift that all mankind could recieve for anyone. especially when this is from god.

i knew somehow he would refuse again. i knew it somewhere inside. but i still tried. i knew somehow i would be disappointed by his letdowns and back out on his own words he said but i still tried. i hoped for a miracle that when i blinked and open my eyes again i would see a happy face for me that he knows i`m serious about this and would agree eventually. but that same face that was imprinted in my mind dated a year back came back like a dejavu. i`m not convinced. i`m not satisfied because you can't give me a proper reason to it. all you said was "talk about it another day. i`m busy." the fact that i took it so seriously yet you think that the tv program is more important disgusts me of ur priorty in life. i cant say more.

the changi murial...

2006-02-18T22:45:00.000+08:00

seriously, an mpg was all i asked for and it could have been so simple i only wanted a few shots thats all.. maybe from now on i really have to consider helping people... really... its a joke..

changi murial shoot has started... the set they made up was really impressive.. replicating all the murials in st luke's chapel and all the art department's replications... went to OCH for a while today to fetch some stuff over.. even in the day i felt the chills but i was able to have a good look at the details of the stairs and walls. and found out a few interesting places that might be ideal for certain sets and moods.. its in changi by the way.. old commando barrack...

thought of the day: FELIX YOU ARE RIGHT!

how funny...

2006-02-18T06:49:00.000+08:00

REPLY TO ANON's EMAIL...

Hi (ANON),

the dp always has the right in having a copy, the reason so because ask yourself on shoot how much i`ve helped you out. was it u who gave me the shots or i who gave u the shots. then think about it do i deserve to keep a copy of MY ideas and works when i wanna showcase them. i dun need corrected colours or audio BECAUSE i`m only cutting a reel and require just a couple of shots from ur 10 MINS . IS that too much. seriously i dont see whats so difficult in that. call me demanding or whatsoever its not just for NTU but other CVs as well alright.

A show reel is showing what you are capable of doing, not your own work. i am only showing what i can do. NOT TRYING TO STEAL UR SHOW or wat okay. I THINK THAT IS ONLY FAIR that i have it. not like i asked u to reedit. you can go outside and ask did i asked too much of you la please. the reason why i never ask from yihan was because. the shots were basically stagnant and most of them were what she told me she wanted i give her. NOT SO MUCH of my own work. do you know the difference now? and whether saphira or anyone of them want a copy from you is not my friggin problem FIRSTLY I NEED IT for work reason. SECONDLY you mean i am obligated to help you? you definitely sounded so!

you said you were unhappy, com`on to send a mpg, i only ask of that. try surfing gmail 10 times to check for that friggin file but it still doesnt show up and u keep insisting you sent! YES U MAY HAVE SENT but the point is its not thru. WHAT CAN WE DO NOW? you keep repeating but you sent all?

SERIOUSLY think of what i`ve said and see if what i said is true. REMEMBER I`M NOT SHOWCASING UR MPG, ONLY SHOTS thats why i keep insisting I DO NOT NEED YOU TO EDIT COLOURS OR AUDIO.

end.

__________________________________________________________________

i`m truly disappointed of what you have said. I dont have to steal your show or whatsoever even if you may have done well alright? get it straight...

she who was the helmet maker's pretty wife...

2006-02-13T00:08:00.000+08:00

pretty she was... now she's old and haggard the helmet maker's wife...

hmmm hope that the shoot for wed to sat's will be confirmed... need some cash now like seriously...

fucking bad night... cos of fucktards... good bye

landrover series 3...

2006-02-05T15:51:00.000+08:00

chilli hootttt hotttttt when everything you do is a balloon..........

fyp is over... and i`m feeling the drive for skating and offroading in the hound......THE HOUNDDD CHILLI HOOOTTTT HOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!

the hound is in the garage... for some maintainence shit.. gonna do something to it cosmetically.... and its time to ZHENG MY CAR!!!! damn sian... shittt

fyp over!!!!

2006-01-28T10:58:00.000+08:00

yes so its all over... up next is the presentation next week... nothing must go wrong!!

tired tired tired... and my mum has to purposely force me up to clean the ceiling fan for chinese new year... and i haven gotten any top for CNY when its already the eve today... aiya i think i shall go find some lak sup top and wear swah..

a meetup with observatory...

2006-01-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

actually its just vivian this time on behalf of them to sign the clearance form for using their soundtrack.. she's so nice and after watching the whole show she gave me really flattering comments and we had a short chat up about the band, the industry and stuff.. she even said i could use her sound studio to redo my narration if i wanted to FOC! she`ll look for the talent for me and i just have to pay the talent. and her office in Yellow box studio is damn cool!

hmmm damn tiring... tml's submission.. i`m short of a few documents that i`m gonna rush it out and catch some slp otherwise i fear i wont be able to wake in time !! Dad's car broke down just a day after getting it back from garage.. stupid sia those people.. fix until drive one day only spoil! oh well good luck everyone whose submitting their fyp tml !!! it`ll be over in a few more hours... Blast BLASTOISE!

lord, here my prayers...

2006-01-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

i was furious but something held me back from just screaming into the fone... thankyou lord...

final laps, counting down.. it doesnt feel like fyp submission at all... hmmmm good luck everyone and myself... lets pull thru!!! and run nafpa together! interested party pls call 1800-run with jon ...

praise the lord...

2006-01-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

hi jon
looks good. nicely shot and on film. wow. would love to see the rest of
the film. let me know when's a good time. in principle, we'd be happy to
have you use the song for this.

thanks!

viv
_____________________

ITS A VERBAL YES!!!! w00t!!!!! next is to meet up soon and get the docs signed!!!! w00t!!! hope it all goes well !!! praise the lord!!!!!!! LORD!!!!!!!

it says it all...

2006-01-17T02:51:00.000+08:00

this is why gervyn moh should eat more veg and drink more water..

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:49:25 AM)
OMG

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:49:25 AM)
i panged one pui

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:49:25 AM)
knn chao

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:49:25 AM)
im suffocating in my air-conned room

UNHD- fishbowl flag... says: (2:50:00 AM)
lol

UNHD- fishbowl flag... says: (2:50:05 AM)
WTF

UNHD- fishbowl flag... says: (2:50:19 AM)
i think i should blog tt...

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:51:37 AM)
LOL

GervynMoh Julyist says: (2:51:37 AM)
wa eh pui jin pang

from the start...

2006-01-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

i loved my initial ROSIE script so much, the trigger and the ending had so much more to it than what it is now... the ending now is just so commercialised to suit the lecturers just so i can start production otherwise i guess they wont allow me to even shoot because they thought my initial one was too, crazy or not complete. but i had so much confidence and felt for that one so much and even shawn and jon said they see potential in my script and asked me to try for the SIFF... talked to Geri about my current one and i thought back on my initial script and the one now... sigh... oh well... can pass can already....