Sunday, March 20, 2005
. the light is getting dimmer....
i told myself i wont cry over it anymore... i told myself that that very night will be the last time i tear over that... but i failed... terribly badly... during prayer session in ED last sat night i wept silently... in front the eucharist... in front of god.... i thought of everything all over again... i felt the guilt piercing in me... i fought hard but i couldnt hold on anymore... i dunno who saw but i dun care... fuck all the people who judge me... you think you know me but you fucking dont...
i dunno how to feel anymore... thinking over all these has no point i know... but like wat mervyn said... when you are alone it all kicks in and you cant hide from it... i really cant be bothered about many things already... i dont wanna think of anything much now... only among people whom i`m close to can i feel again... at least i dont feel so lonely....
Jon rambling at 20.3.05
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