banished and gone forever with no historical records or whatsoever.. its funny how things just keep crashing on you and it just never seem to end.. and no matter how bad the situation is a worse one would befall on you.. and no matter how much you console yourself that when all these potholes are crossed and the sweetness comes it will be ever so sweet but deep down you know that its bullshit because as it is you are feeling like crap and no amount of self consolation is going to even put you into the state of denial because you know the cold hard solid fact your fucked..
when you thought you will start afresh, circumstances and situation put you back into the spot where you just stepped out from.. yea god is one funny guy, with plans for you that you seem to resent and detest but whats the point.. we still go thru it.. it just seem like the sufferings we go thru is an absolute must in exchange for another's happiness whoever it is in this world.. it just seem that at one point there can only have one person whose happy and that person just never seem to be me..
i feel sick of myself.. and i`m slowly giving up, accepting the fact that this is how it is... and this is how it must be because i must have tried almost everything i could do or spoke to ppl i confide in but nothing helps.. and funny even i myself isn't sure of whats wrong.. i feel tired.. of even feeling... because all i feel is sadness and extreme sadness...
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